


Something Worth Saying

by Bladestorm



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends as Family, Friends to Lovers, Hinted Kurapika/Leorio, Hotels, Kinda, M/M, Manipulation, Mutual Pining, Not related to Canon, Oblivious Gon, Open Ending, Protective Gon, Semi-Manipulation, camping out, oblivious killua, protective killua, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26183239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bladestorm/pseuds/Bladestorm
Summary: “After a mission Killua is discovering new feelings for his best friend who’s been supporting him for years, but his family and own mind have other ideas.”
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Illumi Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 1
Kudos: 85





	Something Worth Saying

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first HxH fanfic. I will probably make more after this tho.

The air was light, two figure sprinted across the dirt path with two others following closely behind. The boys in question seemed to be competing with each other. 

“I’m gonna beat you!” One grinned as he started getting farther ahead. 

The other, silver hair blowing as he ran, grimaced and picked up the pace. He wasn’t going to lose to the other boy.

The two people behind them kept neutral faces, uninterested in the race that was occurring. “How long do you think it will take us to get there, Leorio?” The blond asked. 

The taller man shrugged. “It could be a couple of hours...” 

The four of them were heading to their next destination, a place to stay for the night. A simple hotel where they could all relax for a few days. They had been through some stuff lately and it was best if they took a break. 

Huffing the two boys started to slow down a bit. They were both next to each other, and after hearing what their friend had said they didn’t want to waste energy. 

“The sun is setting,” Kurapika noted. “We may have to camp out for the night.”

“What?!” Leorio exclaimed hearing this. “No way! We don’t have any supplies. Can’t we just get a train there?”

Kurapika shook his head. “There is no train tracks insight, I had Gon check an hour back.” 

The dark-haired man rolled his eyes in irritation. Now they’d have to walk even longer, great. 

“We can set up a fire! There are some camping sites coming up. We’ll just use the blankets and sleep outside.” The young boy in front of them suggested.

“Ugh. Fine.” The older agreed. 

Gon gleamed at him, a bright smile on his face. The sliver-haired, who was next to him, tried to not pay attention to this. He knew if he looked at him, he’d freeze up and his face would turn red. He didn’t want God to notice. 

“Killua, your face is a bit flushed. Are you feeling okay? Do you feel feverish?” The other boy asked a bit concerned. 

Killua shook his head quickly. “No. I’m fine.” He replied. 

“Ah, ok.” 

The four carried on, taking on the campsite trail. Hopefully, they’d get there quick enough. 

The sky was turning a bright orange by the time the four had made it to the site. Kurapika and Leorio we’re setting up at the sight while the other two boys were off gathering firewood. 

The real reason they were were so out of town was because Killua had suggested it. Saying they didn’t need to stay because their hunter’s job was done. Everyone was wary at first but they agreed, trusting his judgment.  
But of course Killua hid why he had suggested it... but his friends didn’t need to know. 

“I’m gonna head west, you head east.” Gon suggested to him. 

They hadn’t found much wood they could use, it was all too damp. The river went south to north, if they went in the other directions they could then find dried wood. 

Killua nodded. He watched his friend go in the opposite direction of him. The boy skipped over rocks, quick on his feet so he wouldn’t fall in the river.

As he got deeper into the woods, the boy could feel another presence nearby. He did nothing to prevent it from getting closer. There was no need to, it’s as if it wanted to make itself noticeable.

The two got further from each other. In all honesty, Killua liked being close to Gon. It made him more comfortable. Gon was like a bright light that attracted him, along with Killua’s darken presence. Gon was the light to his dark, or something sweet like that.

He cared for him greatly, more than a regular friend would. Some would say they’re just good friends but Killua wanted something more than just friendship. It was easier said than done. Gon was always there for him when Killua needed him most, but this could be taken advantage of, not by Killua himself but by others. 

He sighed as he grabbed a nearby fallen branch from the ground. Their hunter’s mission had caused Killua to meet up with his family again. Oh, what a reunion it was. Luckily it was only his father that he had met with. At least... he assumed so.  
Upon meeting with his father he told him something that he regretted.

(Flashback to a few days ago) 

“Father... how would you feel if I loved my best friend?” 

The man thought for a moment but then said, “I don’t think it’s my place to say anything. If you love them then you love them.” He explained simply.

That... wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. 

“What if it was a boy?” 

...

“Do you mean that kid Gon? If so, I’m fine with it. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

To say Killua was shocked was an exaggeration. “You have nothing against it?”

“No. In fact, I think it’s great that you’re discovering yourself. Just don’t tell your mother.”

(End of flashback.)

And that was that. His father supported him. Killua felt... relieved about it. The decision wasn’t so bad after all but of course, this had its repercussions to it. 

“I know you’re there,” Killua said. 

He stood there, not moving. The aura was getting more intense. “I’m surprised you’re not using ‘In’.” Killua walked towards the aura’s flow. He activated him nen just in case he’d have to fight. 

A figure slipped out. “I just wanted to catch your attention, Kil.”

“Illumi,” Killua said sternly, he eyes him suspiciously. “Why are you here?”

“Father told me you were nearby. I thought I’d check up on you.”

The two stood ten feet apart from one another, Killua was the one to keep the distance. “That’s not the only reason you’re here, isn’t it? What did father tell you?” The younger demanded.  
It was in fear that his father told him about what he had said from before. 

“It was about your feelings for Gon…”

Killua threw the firewood onto the ground. “That’s it. I’m leaving.” He turned to leave.

“So it’s true then.” His brother said. “What father said, you love him?”

Catching the boy off guard, he was now suddenly in front of the silver-haired boy. Grabbing his chin harshly so their eyes met. “You love Gon?”

Killua’s lips quivered. He swallowed the bile rising in his throat. “Yes...” he mustered out.

“Ah.” 

The two of them just stared at each other. Killua knew where this was going. 

“Don’t you realize that this will jeopardize your job as an assassin?” Illumi asked. “Do you not realize Gon will simply get in the way of being your truest self?” “Do you want to live in a lie?”

Killua could feel his fists shaking. Was this... really why Illumi had come? To make sure he’d stop focusing on Gon? The irony. It was Killua’s life, not his. His brother had no say in what was lie to him. Why was it such a big deal he loved Gon? Why did it matter?

“Assassins do not have crushes. There’s no point, you’ll probably kill him one day. Is that what you want? To kill your first ‘friend’?” The way he said friend made Killua grimace.

Killua shook his head. “No.” He replied.

“I’m only doing what’s best for you, Killua. You know that right?” 

Killua regained his strength and pushed him away. “No. No, you’re not.” He made some distance between them. “You’re doing this so I’ll become an assassin and drop all my friends.”

“Well, yea. I thought that was obvious enough.” 

Killua rolled his eyes. The boy didn’t care for his older brother’s approval, nor did he work towards it. 

“You should go home to mother. She misses you.” 

“No.” Killua reached for him, a stupid mistake. 

He was pinned to the tree in mere seconds. 

“Thought you were smarter than that.” 

Killua’s arms were behind him, tightly pressed together. This fueled his anger, hot blood pumping through his veins. “Now, let’s talk about this civilly-”

Illumi’s s voice was cut off as his arm was yanked, startling him. A simple glance behind him confirmed that Gon was gripping onto it tightly, as he had when they first properly met. When Killua had first left. When Gon broke his arm.

The boy held tightly onto it, Illumi made no indication of stopping him, as if he were letting him. 

Gon’s aura focused solely on his hand, breaking the skin. A loud crack was heard clearly. Gon pushed the man away, putting himself in front of the two brothers, separating them.

The three stared at one another, not directly but there was tension rising in the air.

“I thought you were going to leave Killua alone!” The boy demanded. 

“I don’t recall ever saying that. I’m always going to be apart of his life, however, you will not.”

“That’s not true!” Gon fumed. “Killua and I are always going to be there for each other!” He argued. 

...

“I’m not going to waste my time on this.” 

As if on cue he began to walk away. The two boys stared as he turned his back on them and well... left. There was nothing more to it. Killua was... confused? Surprised? Glad?? He didn’t really know. His brother was just leaving without any of them forcing him to. 

“Come on.” Gon looked at him and held out his hand for the Killua to take. 

Killua hesitantly wraps his hand around Gon’s, blushing a bit as he does so. Feeling the warmth against his cool skin. 

Gon simply smiles at him and begins to pull Killua towards where they dropped their sticks. Both of them let go of each other and picked them up. Gathering the branches back up.

After some time had passed Gon asked him, “Killua, what happened?” curiosity peaking.

“My brother... must have met up with my father when I saw him in town. Probably told him to check up on me.” Killua shrugged. He didn’t know if this lie was good enough to fool Gon, but he hoped...

“Oh... I feel bad for breaking his arm then. I thought he was harassing you. I’ll apologize next time.” Gon said, feeling a bit bad now that he realized there was no need to break his arm.

Killua shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine. He won’t care. Probably will forget about it the next time you see him.” 

Gon nodded and continued walking. Killua just lowered his head a bit. He didn’t like lying to his best friend like this, but he didn’t want to confess the truth. It was too much personal risk. What if Gon didn’t feel the same? He probably didn’t... the boy was a bit more invested in working to be a great hunter. He’d have to follow suit and do the same.

“You’re both back! What took you so long?” Leorio questioned them suspiciously eyeing them both.

“Nothing. We just had trouble finding wood.” Killua told him shrugging his shoulders.

The older man grumbled about how it would’ve been easier to get a hotel and they wouldn’t be in this mess if they had. 

“Let’s just get everything ready so we can leave early tomorrow.” Kurapika sighed. He was by the site, everything had been set up.

“Wow, you guys set up quickly! Good job!” Gon exclaimed smiling at the two.

Kurapika gave a solemn nod, a small smile lingered on his face, Leorio had a smug look on his face from receiving the compliment.  
The three of them began to set up, as Killua watched in silence. He didn’t say a word, watching as Gon and Kurapika bumped into each other and playfully brushed it off laughing while Leorio scolded them into helping him start the fire. They were all such good friends.

The fire crackled as heat emitted from it. They had all finished dinner. Everyone was up except for Leorio, who was sleeping on his blanket soundly.

“He went to sleep pretty fast...” Kurapika noted, a soft smile formed on his lips. “I should too and I suggest you both do the same.” He told them.

They nodded. Kurapika sighed and slumped down next to Leorio. After a few moments, they could confirm he had gone to sleep as well. 

“So... you wanna stay up and talk for a bit?” 

“Sure!” Gon agreed. 

After a while of silence Gon decided to speak, “So what do you wanna talk about?” 

“I’m not sure...” Killua trailed off. 

“Hmmm. Oh! I know! What did your brother say to you? Back there when we were-“

Killua cut him off. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” He said harshly.

“Ok... I have a feeling you’re not telling me something but... I won’t press you for answers.” Gon mumbled.

He understood Killua like that... he wouldn’t press him for anything he didn’t want to share, Gon knew Killua would do the same.

The boy let out a soughed noise and slumped against his blanket. “I’m gonna go to sleep. Good night, Killua.” Gon said.

Killua looked at him and he couldn’t help but smile. “Good night, Gon.” 

Gon nodded and closed his eyes, entering a peaceful slumber.

Killua looked at the fire as it started to dim. He curled up next to his friend, his eyes still open, staring into the dark forest. The trees concealed their presence. Killua let out a tired sigh, leaning his back into the blanket. Suddenly he felt something wrap around his torso. He looked to his right to face Gon, snoring softly, holding Killua close to his chest.  
Killua felt his heart beat’s pace quicken. His body suddenly felt warmer than usual. His smile returned to his lips as he leaned into the boy, the grip getting more firm and snug, making him feel comfortable. It felt so nice to be held.

Throughout the night everything was peaceful, as it should be. The trees rustled in the cold wind. The fire had been blown out. Four figures could be seen sleeping. Leorio and Kurapika were practically sleeping on top of each other, the sight was as funny as it sounded. From before both Killua and Gon were embracing each other. Their arms around the other. It was quite wholesome. They leaned into each other whenever the wind brushed them slightly. Holding onto each other for warmth. Human touch was crucial in these stages. Killua seemed especially touch starved. As if he hadn’t been embraced for a long time. A very long time.

The sunlight leaked through the trees’ openings. Killua blinked slowly as it felt it beating down on his face. He sluggishly got up, looking around to see if anyone else had awakened. From what he could see everyone else was asleep. 

“Huh?” He stared at both Leorio and Kurapika. 

The two of them were practically laying on each other. He could help but let out a loud laugh, quickly covering his mouth once it escaped his lips. Leorio stirred, his body moving a bit. Next to Killua Gon also woke up. He sat up next to Killua and looked at what the other boy was looking at. 

“Oh.” A blush rose to his cheeks seeing the intimate position they were in. “Should we let them sleep longer or...” 

“Nah let’s wake them up!” Killua grinned.

Quietly he crept next to the two of them. Looking down at them he gave them a Cheshire smile. “Wake up!” He shook Leorio violently.

The man jolted out of his sleep, crashing onto Kurapika. “Hey! What gives?!”

Killua whistled. “You sure nothing is going on between you two? Because this looks...”

Leorio rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Killua.” It was obvious there was a slight color to his cheeks. 

“Well, you were hugging me last night.” Kurapika pointed out.

“Well, I didn’t know! We were both asleep!” 

“Oh... is it bad I was hugging you back...?” 

“!!”

Killua rolled his eyes. “Whatever, let’s get ready for the day.” He looked over to see Gon looking at him. 

The boy smiled, a bit embarrassed. His cheeks were slighted tinted. Killua couldn’t help but blush back. 

Leorio noticed this. “‘Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two.’” He mocked, nudging Killua.

“Hey! Stop it!” The boy pushed him back.

Gon just stared at this, tilting his head. 

Kurapika sighed, getting second-hand embarrassment from both Killua and Leorio. He got up and started to pack up his things into a bag. Gon started doing the same. After a lot of teasing Killua and Leorio joined them in cleaning up their stuff.

…

“Hmm... it’s raining.” Gon noted as they walked along the trail.

“You’re right. We should get to the hotel quickly.” Kurapika noted. He walked alongside Gon while Killua walked with Leorio.

“It’s been taking forever,” Leorio complained.

“Don’t worry we’ll be there soon.” 

…

They got there hours later while the sun was setting. So of course, they called it a day and just decided to rent some rooms. There was nothing more to it. It was a simple hotel.  
The rooms they rented were connected. So this made it easier for the four of them to check in on each other.

Gon ran up and crashed down onto the bed in joy. “It’s only one but we can make it work!” He declared openly.

Kurapika looked at Killua. “Is sharing a bed with him okay with you?” He asked.

Killua looked at him a bit perplexed. “Why wouldn’t it be?” 

Kurapika shrugged his shoulders. “I just wanted to make sure. We’ll leave your dinner here.” The blond placed a plastic bag on the table.

He headed to the other room with Leorio. Right as they were about to walk in, Killua shouted out. “Make sure you don’t make that much noise when you-“

“Killua!” Leorio scolded, his cheeks were red with embarrassment. “We’d never!”

Kurapika just rolled his eyes with a smile on his face from amusement. He and Leorio both left the boys to their room. 

Killua looked over at Gon who was still sitting on his bed, who was also looking back at Killua. His cheeks immediately flushed up. Killua assumed it was from embarrassment and ignored it. There was nothing behind that blush, Gon was probably just flustered because of him saying that to Leorio and Kurapika. 

“So do you wanna eat right now?” Gon asked, his voice a bit timid.

“Sure,” Killua said, heading forwards to open up their food and placed it on the small desk by the lamp.

It was just some noodles they had gotten in town. They didn’t have much money after renting the rooms so they’d have to make some eventually. It was all fine though. All fine.

...

Killua looked down at musty broth that was leftover from his noodles. Gon was still slurping down his. Killua took a glimpse at him, his heart pounding in his chest. The strong beats like a soft melody that synchronized up with his slow breathing. After everything he’d been through this was possibly one of the most peaceful moments he’d had. Just being here with his best friend. It made his heart flutter.  
Looking back down at the soup, he began to gulp it down. The hot liquid going down his dry throat, it felt refreshing. He sighed after finishing it. Looking back at yesterday he had overreacted with his brother coming to see him. There was no point in fighting him. He probably wouldn’t even win. Until he got stronger it would be best to ignore those types of situations for now on.  
But what Illumi said wasn’t right. Killua loved Gon. Possibly more than anything. He’d never try and kill him. The thought wouldn’t even cross his mind. Ever. He’d make sure of it. He’d make sure.

...

The more he thought about it... the more he wanted to do it. Just profess his love to Gon right here and now. It sounded so stupid but if Gon were to feel the same... The joy he’d feel if Gon loved him back. He wanted to be embraced by him, the way lovers would when they reunited. Lovers... is that what he wanted to be? Lovers? Yes. He wanted to be Gon’s lover. More than anything. For the other boy to think that highly of him sounded like a blessing.  
He remembered as a child, the less extreme part of his childhood anyways. His mother told him to find someone special in the future, someone that he could try and love. Keyword, ‘try’. The thought sounded bizarre at the time with the way his family told him not to trust anybody but it made sense... kinda. The thought that you could love someone without wanting something from them. He wanted to be loved and praised, but not in the way his family did. The way Gon did. To have assurance in him. It’s what he craved. What he needed.

Then there was the counter to this argument. Would Gon accept his feelings? Would he accept him for being emotionally damaged? He had so far. But what if he wouldn’t want to get involved with him because of the risks? Thoughts overwhelmed Killua’s brain, plaguing it with uncertainty. He didn’t want to be rejected. It would hurt. It would hurt so incredibly bad. How would it affect their friendship afterward? Would it damage it? Many questions to be answered... 

One thing remained clear. Right now would be the perfect time to confess. They’d have time to talk about it and go over the pros and cons. No one else could intervene. 

He took a deep sigh.

“Killua?” Gon’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 

He looked at his friend. “Yea?” He responded.

“Is there something wrong?” Gon questioned, concern hinted in his voice.

Killua shook his head. “I’m... fine...But there is something I want to tell you.” 

“Of course! You can tell me anything.” Gon smiled at him.

Ah, so this was it. He would try and tell him... he inhaled.

...

“I think... I like you.” He admitted.

“I like you too.” Gon said.

So he wasn’t getting it. Figured.

“No. I mean I like, like you.” Killua tried to explain.

Gon titled his head to the side in confusion.

“Gon...” Killua took a deep breath. “I think I’m in love with you.” 

Silence. They were both quiet at this. Gon stared at Killua. His expression is unreadable.

...

“I’m in love with you too.”

“You-“ killua’s breath caught. Emotions began to overcome him. He could feel his eyes getting watery and tears coming down his face. He was so happy. So very happy.

“How long have you felt this way?” Gon asked him, he could see there were also some tears forming under his eyes.

“After getting to know you... when you and I were just together training our nen.” 

Gon nodded. “It was around after I had been in the hospital I realized.”

Killua nodded, tears still rolling down his cheeks, they also felt very warm. Emotion spread through them. He felt so happy. 

“I don’t know how you want to go about this. Even I don’t know.” Gon admitted. “But-“ 

Killua’s eyes flickered to Gon’s lips. Gon met his gaze, understanding the message.  
Killua leaned in until their noses were touching. Both of them breathing quietly, all alone in the room with no one to ruin the moment.

“Killua...” Gon breathed out, staring into his soft blue eyes.  
Gon’s heartbeat skipped a beat. His breath getting a bit unsteady as Killua drew closer. He tried to calm his racing heart but it was pointless. Killua moves until he was sitting directly next to Gon on the bed they were sitting on, ignoring the food on the table that they had finished earlier.

Killua’s head tilted slightly to the side. He leaned fo award and captured Gon’s lips in a sealing kiss. To Gon, Killua’s lips were soft but demanding, a perfect combination of the two. They pressed up against Gon’s own smooth lips. Fitting perfecting together. Their noses snug up against each other. 

Killua’s hands went on his shoulders, gently pulling him closer. His fingers brushed his cheeks softly before placing it on his waist once more. Gon hesitantly places his hand on Killua’s cheek, rubbing his thumb down his cheek affectionately. Killua seemed to lean into the boy’s touch, desperately craving the attention he received. 

Gon felt his heartbeat getting faster as the kiss lasted. He felt... happy about it.  
Killua on the other hand regretted nothing about it. His feelings couldn’t be described in one sentence. He felt ecstatic about it. His stomach that had been twisted in knots before was no all relaxed and calm.

Neither of them refused to break the kiss first as if it were some kind of competition that neither of them could back down from. 

Eventually, they gave in and pulled back, breathless. 

“That felt...”

“Amazing.” 

Gon nodded in agreement. But then paused. “What are we now?”

“Whatever you want us to be,” Killua told him, taking his hand. 

“I feel like... it’s too soon for all this.” Gon admitted. “I obviously love you. I want to be with you, but there are other things going. We shouldn’t rush things.”

“That’s logical of you,” Killua said surprised.

“Yea... I just want you to be happy.”

“Well, I want you to be happy as well.”

They stared at each other in awe. 

“Ugggh it feels so weird to say that I love you...” Gon groaned a bit, kind of embarrassed about it.

Killua bushed. “Yea... It feels a bit weird.” He confessed. 

“Thank you for being with me,” Killua told him. “I... I don’t know what I would have down if I’d never met you.” 

“Neither would I.”

“Do you want to get some rest? To think about this in the morning?” The white-haired boy asked.

Gon sighed. “I kinda wanna talk about it now though.”

“Well alright.” 

“How will your family feel about this?” Gon asked him with concern.

“My father already knows, I told him. So does Illumi but he isn’t necessarily happy about it.” 

Gon nodded and then asked, “Is your father supportive?”

“Yea, surprisingly. He told me not to tell my mom though.” He grinned.

Gon let out a laugh. 

“But other than that I think I’m fine. Do you think your Aunt Mito would be supportive of you?”

“Yea. She would.” Gon couldn’t help but smile, his aunt would be happy for him. He’d tell her the next time he wrote her a letter.

“That’s settled then. Both of our families would be fine with it. We should wait to get into a serious relationship though.”

Gon nodded. “It could just be a ... thing?” 

Killua shrugged. “It’s whatever you want it to be.”

“Ok... let’s get some rest.”

“Sure.” As of immediately, Killua hopped onto the bed and kicked up the covers to get under them. 

Gon joined him and slept on his side.

The lights were off and they both stared up.

...

Gon could feel an arm wrap around his waist. He leaned into the touch. Embracing Killua back. The two of them drifting soundlessly off to sleep. Peacefully. Together. In each other’s arms. 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Consider leaving criticism because that’s how I improve on this type of stuff :)


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